Why we should stop sending greeting cards? FUCK OFF!
Let’s face it, greeting cards get a pretty bad rap, and to be perfectly honest, most greetings cards out there deserve it! Just picture the scene: your birthday rolls around and you’re sitting at the kitchen table drinking your first cup of coffee; you hear a light thud and pad down the hallway to see a small pile of greetings cards (you’re not THAT popular) on the mat. What would have once filled your heart with joy and anticipation, now fills you with dread. You open up the five birthday cards, three of which are exactly the same card, and none of which contain a cheque, or even a £10 note. I repeat, birthday cards are boring. From the same designs, to the same messages inside, most people can’t even be bothered to write anything more than their name inside anymore. Yawn!
A recent article from The Huffington Post waxed lyrical about how birthday cards (and other greeting cards such as Christmas cards) are irrelevant now, giving way to Facebook messages and ecards. The author even goes as far to say:
“I have made my first New Year’s resolution: No more sending a greeting card except for little kids, grandkids, my children, and my husband. Unless the card is attached to a gift, I will make my good wishes online.”
Now, most greeting cards are uninspiring, dull and lacklustre, but we don’t think that all greetings cards should have to suffer for these boring and soppy Hallmark cards’ mistakes. Yes, most greeting cards out there are boring as hell, but cardshit.com rude greeting cards are a whole lot of fun. Don’t give in to the trend of sending an even more boring, effortless Facebook message, and make your mark by sending a hilariously rude greetings card instead. What makes more of an impact, a half-hearted “Happy Birthday, have a great day x” on someone’s ‘wall’, or a card that reads, “Any Cunt Can Write On Your Facebook Wall. So Here's A Card #happyfuckingbirthday” falling through their letterbox? Not only does it show that you care enough to remember their birthday without the aid of a computer, but it also offers you the opportunity to let them know that you’ve got a great sense of humour. Show me a Facebook message that does that!
You can’t very well go and write “dinner for two? It's 69 time #happyanniversary” on your partner’s Facebook wall for everyone to see, but you can send that message in an irreverent anniversary card delivered straight to your door. You also can’t send your mate a “Good Luck With The New House. Hope Your Neighbours Aren't Cunts” good luck message online, but it’s perfectly acceptable to send them a good luck card which says so which they can proudly display on the mantel.
Don’t even get me started on fucking ecards; virtual cartoon versions of puppies and elves that dance and sing high pitched songs that no one wants to listen to may have seemed like a good idea 10 years ago, but they are definitely seen as deeply uncool today. They may seem like a free and easy alternative to standard greetings cards, but honestly, no self-respecting person under the age of 45 would be caught dead sending their mate a ghastly ecard on their birthday. It just screams ‘I couldn’t be arsed to get you a proper fucking card’. To be honest, I’d rather receive an email asking me to give my bank details to a Nigerian prince…
So stop procrastinating, make a bit of fucking effort, and show your loved ones that you really do care, by sending them a cardshit.com greetings card.