The Reason Why Rude Christmas Cards Should be Handwritten
The humble Christmas card is a lovely tradition isn’t it? Every single year around December we stress ourselves out writing Christmas cards to people that we barely ever see. As another card drops through the letterbox and onto the mountain on the mat we all get that familiar feeling of dread, and the crippling fear that you forgot to send the person who sent you the card one in return. Sounds like fun, right? That’s what being an adult is all about!
As excruciating as the whole process of sending Christmas cards is, we here at cardshit.com firmly believe that all Christmas cards should be rude Christmas cards and should be handwritten, not some impersonal message thought up and sent or printed by a computer. As crass and bold as we are, we really do feel that a heartfelt note at the bottom of each card is always a nice surprise, and one that we think everyone should adopt into their Christmas traditions.
We all know those people that don’t even bother to write your name in the card, don’t we? You open up a cheery card with Santa Claus stuck down a chimney, only to read four sparse words “From Pam and Bill”. That’s just boring! It’s so cold and unfriendly; you can almost imagine what the production line of signing those cards in that house looked like, and just how much of a chore it was for them to even get the cards out of the door.
Unfortunately, the chore of choosing and sending Christmas cards is usually left up to women in our society, but with our selection of rude Christmas cards, we think there will be a few more men who are inspired to take up the tradition. What kind of monster wouldn’t enjoy sending out a few hundred 'Merry Christmas Wanker' cards to their closest friends and family?
Forget Facebook messages and Twitter DMs, writing on someone’s wall isn’t even remotely festive, and in our opinion, e-cards are even worse! There is no better way to get lost in someone’s inbox quite as quickly as a cheesy, cheery e-card that they never even knew you sent. Handwritten cards are so much more personable, and let’s face it, they are a great excuse to pick up a pen and practice your chicken scrawl handwriting at least once every year. Plus, if you don’t send physical handwritten rude Christmas cards, you would only have to friend your parents on Facebook, and no one wants that!
Luckily, when it comes to cardshit.com rude Christmas cards, they just demand to be written in. Preferably in a beautiful cursive that just screams 'Merry Christmas Bellend', in fact we think Tiny Tim would be especially proud of our 'To my favourite jingle bellend at christmas' and “Happy Birthday Jesus, You Fucking Rock #merrychristmas' cards when it comes to Christmas time.
We know it may be expensive to buy stamps these days (have you seen the price of a stamp?!), and it may be difficult to find an appropriate (or inappropriate when it comes to us) card, sit down and write it, and then dig out your mates addresses from the recesses of your memory, but believe us it’s so worth it!
Handwritten rude Christmas cards are a charming and easy way to keep in touch with your mates, that will definitely earn you brownie points, so what are you waiting for? Don’t be a Scrooge, hand write your cardshit.com rude Christmas cards this year and be a true hero!