This Year's Absolutely Must-Have Christmas Toys
If you’re below the age of 20 years old you probably don’t give a flying fuck about rude Christmas cards. When you’re a kid, Christmas is all about the presents. So, forget all about the “All I Want For Christmas Is You...To Go Down On Me” or “As If You Need A Reason To Eat Shit, Get Wasted And Bang Your Colleagues #happychristmas” Christmas cards available on our cardshit.com website, here’s all the toys that will be big for the kids according to Hamleys this year.
Get A Grip - £21
The cream-filled disgust-fest that was Pie Face is so last year, and this year’s must-have family game is Get A Grip. Hasbro’s twist on the ‘no thumbs challenge’, players have to compete head to head in challenges without using their thumbs. Tuck your thumbs in the included hand bands and go to town drawing, sculpting and doing all sorts of tasks to win a card and ultimately win the game! You can always send a “congratufuckinglations” rude congratulations card to the winner.
Hatchimals - 75
The sell-out egg surprise toy is once again set to be this year’s big toy hit, and with the Pink Egg Surprise and Peacat Egg Surprise (whatever that means) you won’t know which toy you’ll get. An overinflated, much more irritating version of a Furby, we aren’t quite sure why you keep buying these demons for your kids, but when you can’t sleep for the muttering and screeching, don’t come crying to us!
Laser X - £50
Guaranteed to tire your little terrors out, this is the ultimate high-tech game of tag! With over 60 metres of pinpoint accuracy, your kids can blast their mates with the laser gun and see them suffering your blows on their receiver vests. With colour changing lighting, voice coach guidance and stereo sound and music, your little ones will easily be immersed in their laser war long enough for you to have a sneaky nap. You could always buy this one for the kids before Christmas to keep them occupied long enough to write your rude Christmas cards.
Lego BB-8 - £85
It’s a proven fact that kids love Lego and they love Star Wars, so you can’t go wrong with this amazing Lego Star Wards BB8 figure released ahead of the latest Star Wars Film. Not only will they be distracted by actually building BB-8, but they can also play with him by turning the wheel to spin his head and open the hatch, and then display him on the included stand when he is complete.
Tyler the Playful Tiger - £135
One of this year’s top interactive toys, this isn’t your standard teddy bear. The FurReal Roarin Tyler The Playful Tiger responds to both sounds and touch, with over 100 sound and motion combinations. You can stroke his head to see him close his eyes and pet his muzzle to see him move.
Fisher Price Dance & Move BeatBo - £40
One for the toddlers, the Fisher Price Dance & Move Beatbo is a plush little bug that sings, dances and helps your little one to learn about colours, letters, counting, music, cause & effect and much more. Press his tummy or the buttons on his feet to activate the 3 modes: Dance n Move, Learning & Games, and Customised Sing Along.