Put Those Get Well Soon Cards Away, UK Workers Record Lowest Rate of Sick Days Ever
It might seem like you and your colleagues are always throwing sickies left, right and centre, but you can put those get well soon cards away, because British workers have officially reported the lowest amount of sick days since records began almost 25 years ago. Forget those hilarious “Don't Rush Back To Work, Because Everyone Thinks You're A Cunt #getwellsoon”, “Can I Catch What You've Got By Sitting Next To You??? #getwellsoon” and “Get Well Soon, Because I'm Doing All Of Your Fucking Work #getwellsoon” rude get well soon cards available on our cardshit.com website, because if the official figures are to be believed, we just aren’t sick all that often.
Instead of staying off work and receiving get well soon cards when you’re sick, it would seem employees are 'manning up and going into work. So how about sending your colleagues a few of our “Sorry I’m a Twat” or “Sorry I’m a Cunt” rude sorry cards instead, to make up for infecting the whole office with whatever contagious disease you’ve passed on to them with your selfishness.
The Office for National Statistics recently announced that about 137 million working days were lost due to illness and injury in 2016, which is around 4.3 days per worker, the lowest rate recorded since 1993 when it was 7.2 days per worker. So, what reasons do we send our co-workers get well soon cards for? Well, minor illnesses like colds and coughs account for almost a quarter of our sick days, whilst musculoskeletal problems like back, neck and limb pain were the second most popular reason for being off work. However, mental health issues like stress, depression and anxiety, alongside manic depression and schizophrenia cost workers 15.8m days of work.
Frances O’Grady, the Trades Union Congress general secretary commented that “We are really a nation of mucus troopers, with people more likely to go to work when ill than stay at home when well. It is a myth that UK workers are always throwing sickies”. We’re pretty sure that Francis just made up the term ‘mucus troopers’ for the sake of that interview, but we must admit we kind of like it.
The sector which is in need of the most get well soon cards is the public sector which lost 2.9% of the year to sickness, compared to the self-employed who lost 1.4% and the private sector who lost 1.7%. The highest rates of sickness related absence were found in Wales with 2.6% and Scotland with 2.5%, whilst the lowest percentage of the year lost to sickness was found in London at 1.4%.
This change in the rate of sick days in the UK is perhaps a telling comment on the state of the economy today; jobs are precious and people can’t afford to be either off work sick, or to be seen as someone who is always unwell in case it costs them their job entirely. Gone are the days of pulling sickies because you’re too lazy to get up in the morning and lounging at home all day in your pyjamas, workers today can’t even afford to be off work sick when they’re dying of the cold, never mind feeling perfectly fine.