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2016's Top Rude Christmas Cards

Let’s face it, 2016 has been a shit old year, with Brexit, Bake Off and Donald Trump all sending shockwaves across the world, not to mention practically every half decent celebrity kicking the bucket in the past 11 months as well. So far we’ve said goodbye to Prince, Ronnie Corbett, Victoria Wood, Leonard Cohen, Alan Rickman, and David Bowie to name a few, and as luck would have it, there’s still another month to go before we can finally say good riddance to such a god-awful year. As we look forward to a hopefully uneventful Christmas, it’s time to end this abominable year by giving as good as we got and sending the most shocking rude Christmas cards imaginable. So, to help you stick it to the man and blow off some steam, we’ve picked the most extreme rude Christmas cards of 2016. 


To My Favourite Jingle Bellend At Christmas

It’s festive, it’s offensive; what more could you ask for in a rude Christmas card? Not much. This card is just the right mix of punny and thoughtful to give to any and all of your dickhead friends.


All I Want For Christmas Is You...To Go Down On Me

Say what you want about Christmas, but underneath the glitz and glamour, it really is a time for giving. And if it’s a time for giving, then luckily for you, it means it’s also a time for receiving. You can’t get much more blunt than shoving this card in your partner’s face, pulling your pants down and gesturing wildly, so what are you waiting for?


Jesus Was Born To Save Cunts Like You #merrychristmas

When you’re not shoving things up a turkey’s private parts, ripping open stockings filled with socks and clementines, or downing a bottle of Bailey’s then you really should be spending the Christmas break rejoicing in the glory of God and his only son's birthday. That’s where this extra rude Christmas card comes in handy, not only does it make a statement, but it also keeps you good in the eyes of the lord. 


Happy Cuntmas

Simple, yet effective, this is about as naughty as a rude Christmas card can get. At first glance it may appear like a normal, cheery Christmas card, before you start to notice that everything is not as it seems. 


Silent Night, Holy Night…Shut The Fuck Up And Give Me My Present #merrychristmas

Combining the two things we really hate at this time of year: Christmas carols and people who pretend that Christmas is about anything but presents, this rude Christmas card is about as honest as it gets.


Merry Christmas Cunt

Throwing convention out of the window, this rude Christmas card doesn’t even pretend to be friendly; instead it goes right in for the kill and tells it like it is. A great card to give to your best mates, or even your sworn enemies, this card will never disappoint. Back it up with a “Mega Cunt” birthday card, to really drive the message home. 


Merry Christmas. Now I Don't Have To Have Anything To Do With You For Another Fucking Year #merrychristmas

If you can’t be rude to your family at Christmas time, when can you be rude to your family? A cramped house, all your extended family in the one room, and alcohol by the bucket-load, Christmas is just asking for a row or two, so why not fuel the fire and kick start things with the rudest Christmas card you can find. Guaranteed to piss some people off, this card is the perfect tool to distance yourself from the inbreds you call relatives.