Regular playground teasing just picks on appearances or habits. Level up your insults by aiming at a birthday celebrant’s existence instead. After all, how the fuck were they the sperm that won, anyway?

Our “Candy Sticks and Stones” rude greeting cards sugarcoats these childish messages with candy colours and clashing ice cream pastels. Of course, you’re welcome to embellish the card for a greeting the celebrant will never forget. How about slipping a rubber johnny into the envelope?

• Blank inside for your own personal message
• A6 size (105 x 148 mm)
• Premium Quality 350 GSM Card
• Beautiful Sunset Orange Envelope
• Cellophane bag packed for protection
• Free First Class postage - whether you buy 1 card or 1000
• £3.25 per card or 3 cards for just £7.50