Congratulations Cards, the Way to Tell People They're Not Complete Failures
Passing those exams, acing that driving test, getting that big promotion… there
are plenty of occasions that merit a hearty pat on the back in the form of congratulations cards
and a great big cheer of “Well done!” from everyone around! But be careful that the recipient
of your well wishes doesn’t get too far ahead of themselves and end up with a head
so big they can’t get through the door.
It’s nice to let someone know that they’ve done a good job every once in a while,
and sending congratulations cards is the ideal way to do that without having to
actually speak to them in person. It also saves you from getting too sentimental
and gushy and it means you don’t even have to hang around and hear all the
boring details about how great their new job is. Just pop the card in the post and
be done with it. Sending a card really is a win-win situation.
Cardshit.com specialises in congratulations cards that simultaneously say, “good
job” and “we’ve heard enough” at the same time. Take our simple but effective
“Congratufuckinglations” card, which effortlessly conveys everything it needs to
in only one (made-up) word. Also available for more specific occasions such as,
“Never thought you’d pass the theory test #congratufuckinglations” and “It’s a
baby! #congratufuckinglations”, this is a sentiment which applies to nearly every
situation you can think of.
Remember being a student; those long lost halcyon days of getting felt up on the
dance floor, microwave meals and sleeping in until midday? That might all sound
like a right laugh, but it’s a well known fact that it’s piss easy to doss about
drinking 20p shots and missing lectures, but the hard part of any student’s life is
managing to actually pass those all important exams (just joking, who even looks
at your A Level results anyway?). So try sending the apathetic student in your
life a “Clever Cunt” congratulations card and it’ll be popping up on their
Instagram feeds and Snap Chat stories in no time.
Sending your mate a congratulations card is also a superb way to remind them
that although they may deserve a bit of recognition, the hard work isn’t quite
over yet, and to be honest there’s probably plenty more to come. A
“Congratulations! Don’t fuck it up” card is the perfect tool to convey both your
well wishes and an important warning not to get too big of an ego or too
complacent in the future. If you think about it, you’re actually doing your mates
a favour, a humorous congratulations card helps to keep them humble.
Congratulations can come in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes it’s nice to just
mark a special occasion by sending a congratulations card that really hits the
mark. For example, sending someone close to you a card that reads,
“Congratulations on the move! Hope your neighbours aren’t cunts.” Just imagine
that sitting on the mantelpiece of their new home…
Whether they view it as a memento of an important occasion and keep your card
forever, or they simply toss your card in the rubbish as soon as you’re out of
sight, it’s the thought that counts, and it doesn’t get more selfless than
congratulating a friend or family member for something memorable that they
have done, but that you really couldn’t give a flying fuck about.
So next time your pal comes in to work boasting about their upcoming move,
new baby or even the fact that they finally managed to go to the gym this week,
consider a Cardshit.com congratulations card to really put some pep in their step
and let them know just how proud you are!
Of course if they did fuck it up after all, then the sorry cards might be a better choice "sorry
you fucked up" being sure to hit the mark.