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Not for the Faint of Heart: 6 Offensive Valentine's Day Cards

Posted by P. Ottymouth on

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, most people will be hunting for roses, chocolates, and other standard fare, while other romantics might opt to head over to Cardshit and buy unique and rude Valentine’s cards. If you’re in that wise and tasteful second group, you’ll love the list below. Here are 6 offensive greeting cards that’ll make your loved one drop their jaw. We hope your significant other can take a joke!

Spice Up Your Valentine’s Day with These 6 Offensive Greeting Cards

1. A Hole Lot of Love

Does your loved one like cats, bums, or a combination of the two? Delight them with this I Have a Hole Lot of Love For You greeting card, featuring a rude Valentine’s Day pun. And just in case the heart balloon tied to the cat’s tail doesn’t make it obvious, the #happyvalentines hashtag makes the occasion loud and clear.

Have you fallen for a dog lover instead? Don’t worry--this rude card has a doggy version.

2. Valentine’s Day in a Nutshell

Because, honestly, this is what would make up most people’s happy endings on Valentine’s Day. Sending this Happy “Nice Meal and Mandatory Shag” Day card is a lot better than forcing yourself to say a half-hearted “I love you,” especially if that’s not how you and your loved one roll. In fact, this rude and offensive greeting card may fetch you a genuine chuckle from the love of your life. And who knows? You might snag yourself a nice meal and a shag after all.

3. Make Valentine’s Day Great Again

Gag-inducing mental images aside, this is your go-to offensive card if you want to make Valentine’s Day great again, with help from no other than the POTUS himself. Just don’t give this greeting card right after the two of you have had a fancy dinner, unless you find it romantic to throw up in response to a picture of Donald Trump in neon pink underpants.

Want to be thoughtful and rude at the same time? Send this card to any single friends hailing from the US of A.

4. Happy Valentine’s Gay note- being gay isn’t offensive so we do not want to suggest this. Please either change or see if there is a better word to use than offensive which still works re keyword importance “cheeky, naughty “ etc. Thanks

Be progressive while staying offensive. Greet the love of your life a Happy Valentine’s Gay for instant sunshine and rainbows. This rude greeting card works no matter which way you swing!

5. Couple Goals

So the two of you match like fly and fly paper, red text on green paper, or the POTUS and his First Lady. You’ve got to give your loved one props for sticking with you, right? Show your appreciation with this rude but (hopefully) heartfelt Thank You For Putting Up With Me Valentine’s Day card.

6. You Still Push My Buttons

Here’s the perfect rude Valentine’s Day card for geeks, 90’s kids, and anyone who’s ever owned a GameBoy Color! After all you’ve been through together, let them know that they still push your buttons. If they blush in return, it’s a sign that you still push theirs, too!

ALSO READ: 4 Reasons You Should Still Send Greeting Cards

Remember, a wicked sense of humor makes you more attractive. Get your game on with these 6 rude Valentine’s Day cards, courtesy of Cardshit. You’re welcome!

Loved this article, in all its punny glory? Visit our blog for more posts about rude greeting cards.

  • Valentine's Cards
  • Offensive Cards
  • Couple Cards