A Rude Christmas Card for Santa (and other Christmas Eve Traditions)
Christmas is only a matter of weeks away, and we know that it can get pretty boring doing the same things year after year after year, so why not try something different this Christmas and start some new Christmas Eve traditions of your own. From sending a rude Christmas card to Santa, to making the Reindeers something to eat, here are our top modern traditions to try out this year.
1. Give to others
As if your house isn’t filled to the brim with rubbish anyway, Christmas time comes and we just keep adding to the pile of junk. So why not take the opportunity to ask the kids to choose a few toys that they don’t play with any more to donate them to Santa’s special sack (no, NOT that one, get your mind out of the gutter!). Santa can then take the toys away on Christmas Eve and give them to needy kids.
2. Check out Santa’s Sleigh
Perfect for those inquisitive little minds, why not head out to the garden, look up at the sky and catch a glimpse of Santa flying by on his sleigh? Don’t tell the kids, but the International Space Station just so happens to pass by on Christmas Eve at certain times, and its flashing lights look just like Santa’s sleigh.
3. Leave a Christmas card for Santa Claus
You send rude Christmas cards to your friends; you send rude Christmas cards to your family, so why not sit down and write out a rude Christmas card to Santa and his Elves wishing them a merry Christmas? May we suggest our “Don’t like this card? That’s just rude-olph! Fuck you buddy #merrychristmas” or our “Drugs are bad for your elf #merrychristmas” selections. Alternatively, you can leave a birthday card for the baby Jesus, like our “Happy Birthday Jesus, you fucking rock #merrychristmas” card if you follow a more religious Christmas regime…
4. A few early presents
It’s just not fair to make everyone wait until Christmas day to get presents, so why not tell the kids that if they’re good all day, they can have one present early? Set aside a box with new pajamas, slippers and a book or DVD to keep them occupied and relaxed on Christmas Eve.
5. Traditional Christmas fayre
With all of the stresses and strains of Christmas dinner, it can all get very overwhelming on Christmas Eve. So take a break from cooking and order in your favourite takeaway. Pro tip: eat it from the containers so you don’t have any washing up to do either.
6.Keep little ones busy
Little ones can be a downright nightmare with all of the excitement of Christmas, so it’s a good idea to try and keep them busy. Make it a Christmas Eve tradition to make some home made cookies or reindeer food to give to Santa and his reindeer, and pass a few hours until bedtime.
7. Tour the town
Another great way to tire your little brats out before bedtime is to take a nighttime walk around your neighbours houses looking at all of their Christmas lights and decorations. Not only does it get you into the Christmas spirit, it also gives you a good idea of which neighbours have a serious problem when it comes to overdoing it.
8. The magic key
It’s a sad fact that some houses just don’t have chimneys, so if you happen to live in a soulless house like this, then make it a tradition to hang up a ‘magic key’ outside or in the living room so that Santa can find his way into the house. Just make sure it’s not a real key, or you could be welcoming a very different bearded fat man into your house while you sleep.